A farmer was taking three of his donkeys for sale to the market.
On the way, he saw a river and decided to have a dip.
Since he had only two ropes to tie the donkeys to a tree, he looked around wondering how to tie the third one.
He saw a sage and sought his help if he could give him a rope to tie the third donkey.
The sage did not have a rope but had a suggestion.
He told the farmer,
“Let the third donkey see you tying the other two donkeys to a tree. Then you pretend to tie this one also”.
The farmer did as he was told and went for a dip in the river.
Coming back, he thanked the sage and saw that the donkeys stood exactly at the same spot where he had left them.
He untied the two donkeys and patted the third one to start moving.
After going a little distance, imagine his surprise when the third donkey stood still at the same spot.
Cajoling, kicking or talking did not help with the donkey, refusing to move from the spot.
The farmer went back to sage, who told him, “Untie the third donkey”.
“But”, protested the farmer, “I have not tied him”.
The sage asked, “You know it. But does the donkey know that?”,
Sure enough, the farmer went back and pretended to untie the donkey.
The donkey moved immediately as though released and walked over to join the other two donkeys.
Moral of the story:
We are all, also tied up by too many imaginary ropes…… which are really non-existent.
The only truth is there are no boundaries in real life and anyone can stretch to any extent. Don’t we all see records being broken, every time, everywhere and every day?
Our mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except with our permission. Hence as we go along this day let us see what we can do with our minds.
Rich Snobby Woman Gets Shut Down Hard By A Flamboyant Flight Attendant
I think all of us have experienced that moment when we walk away from a situation in which somebody got the upper hand and a few minutes or perhaps a few hours later, we think of the ultimate comeback line. We sometimes just say that we aren’t quick enough to think of those things on the fly but every once in a while, we hear about somebody that gets off a true zinger and it happens just at the right time. That is what you are about to see in the story/joke that will leave you laughing.
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that ‘Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.’
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed woman hadn’t moved a muscle. ‘Perhaps you didn’t hear me over those big brute engines, but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.’
She calmly turned her head and said, ‘In my country, I am called a Princess, and I take orders from no one.’
To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, ‘Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I’m called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, B****!’
Blind Cowboy Walks Into A Biker Bar And Bravely Tells A Joke
An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake…
He finds his way to a barstool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, ‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a ‘Billy-Club’.
3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
‘Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy… Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?’
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
‘No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times’
The Wifi Password
A man goes into a bar in the airport and asks the bartender what the password is to their wi-fi.
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.
Me: Okay, I’ll have a coke.
Bartender: Is Pepsi okay?
Me: Sure. How much is that?
Bartender: $3
Me: There you go. So, what’s the wi-fi password?
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.
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A Blonde Interview
A young blonde woman goes to an office for a job interview. The interviewer decides to start with the basics
“So, miss, can you tell us your age, please?” He asks.
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 3 seconds before replying “Ehh… 25!”
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. “And can you tell us your height, please?” The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, “Five foot three!”
This isn’t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics.
“And ehh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?” The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying “Stephanie”.
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks “Just out of curiosity, miss. We can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when we asked you your name?”
“Oh that!” replies the blonde, “That’s just me running through ‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…”
A Beautiful Young Woman Wearing A Tight Skirt.
A crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus.
As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.
She tried to again take the step, only to discover that she couldn’t.
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step.
Once again, much to her embarrassment, she could not raise her leg.
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.
About this time, an elderly man who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
The went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched,
“How dare you to touch my body! I don’t even know who you are!”
The elderly guy smiled and drawled,
“Well, ma’am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kind’a figured we were friends.”
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