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Not What She Expected

A man rushed home from work, excitedly pulled his wife into the bedroom, and covered them both with a blanket.
She was surprised—this hadn’t happened in years!
Then he said, “Look! My new watch glows in the dark!”

(BONUS)

FLY SWATTER LOGIC

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband pacing around with a fly swatter.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Hunting flies,” he replied.

“Oh, have you killed any?” she asked.

“Yep, 3 males, 2 females,” he answered.

Intrigued, the wife asked, “How can you tell them apart?”

The husband replied, “Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone.”