A married man was visiting his girlfriend,
A married man was visiting his girlfriend, when she requested he shave his beard off. “Oh Paddy.” she said, “Please sh*ve it off, I want to see all of your lovely face.
“I can’t said Paddy, “My wife loves this beard, she’d k*ll me if I shaved it off! “Please!”…she pleaded in a s**y s*du*tive voice. Paddy gives in and sh*ves the beard off.
Later that night, Paddy crawls into the bed whilst his wife was sleeping. His wife wakes up, and feels his face in the dark, she then says, “Oh Michael, you shouldn’t be here now, Paddy will be back home shortly!”
A blind man enters a restaurant and sits down.
The owner, who is also the waiter, hands him a menu. The man responds, “I’m sorry, sir, but I am blind and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I’ll smell it and order from there.”
The owner, puzzled, brings him a greasy fork from the dirty dish pile. The blind man sniffs it and says,
“Ah, yes, that’s what I’ll have — meatloaf and mashed potatoes.”
The owner is astonished and tells his wife, the cook, about the incident.
A few days later, the blind man returns. The owner again mistakenly hands him a menu.
The blind man reminds him, “Sir, remember me? I’m the blind man.” The owner apologizes and fetches another dirty fork. After sniffing, the man orders, “That smells great. I’ll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli.” The owner, still in disbelief, decides to test him next time.
The following week, the blind man returns.
This time, the owner quickly goes to the kitchen and tells his wife, “Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man.” Mary complies. The owner gives the fork to the blind man, who sniffs it and says, “Hey, I didn’t know that Mary worked here…”
