In a recent viral story, a guy confessed that he revealed his wife’s late husband’s parents from visiting their daughter after weeks of ᴄʀᴜᴇʟ remarks. The man, who married a widow, originally wanted to preserve good connections with the wife’s ex-in-laws for the child’s sake. However, their constant ɴᴀsᴛʏ comments became too much to ʙᴇᴀʀ.
The man explained the situation.
I’ve been married to my wife for nearly two years, and we welcomed our daughter a year ago. My wife was previously married; she married at a young age, but her husband ᴅɪᴇᴅ. I knew all of this and was perfectly fine with it. Until now.
See, she’s still quite close to her deceased husband’s parents. And they were thrilled with the birth of our child. FYI, they only had one son and no other children.
They visit us roughly once a week. It was fine at first, but it has become quite suffocating.
They have paid us more visits than either her parents or my parents. They’ve even stayed at our place at times. Something I wouldn’t even like if they were my parents.
Another issue is that they make frequent references to their ᴅᴇᴄᴇᴀsᴇᴅ son. This is typically fine, although they’ve said certain things that make me uneasy. They even stated my daughter resembles him, and his mother added, “Oh, if she’s this cute, imagine how cute your kids would have been, if only…” when speaking with my wife. She was going to say more, but I believe she realized what she was about to say because I was right there.
I want to be friendly, and I knew there would be instances like this, but it’s starting to make me uncomfortable. Would I be improper if I instructed my wife’s late husband’s parents not to visit our daughter?
People in the comments were on his side.
They are clinging to you after losing their son, but there must be boundaries in place. It starts with a talk with your wife and then moves on to working together. leaving4me / Reddit
His parents are plainly in need of grief counseling. They have the right to feel whatever they feel, and my heart breaks for them, but they are not linked to this little girl, and they are certainly dealing with anguish and loss. Access to this child is not good for anyone. Ava_Lenore / Reddit
When they talk about their son and how his children would have looked, they cross a boundary. You have a greater problem with your wife; she should be turning them off. They can be bonus grandparents if they appreciate you as the child’s father. SnooWords4839 / Reddit
It is not proper. They believe that they have missed out on the experience of their son having children and enjoying grandchildren. I’m sure they adore your wife and hold her close as a reminder of what their son left behind. The parents of the deceased husband require therapy, and they must let your wife to move on and live with her family. briguygotyou / Reddit
Someone even shared their personal experience.
I am a widower who has two children with my new wife. My children are in middle school now. I’ve known my late wife’s parents since I was sixteen. We were living with them when mom was sick, and I stayed when she died unexpectedly, and we became quite close. I made it clear to my new wife when we were dating that they were family to me, and that would not alter.
It has not altered, and she is fine with it. My children have another set of grandparents, and they understand the situation, and I believe my late wife’s mother is their favorite grandmother. They’re amazing people.
Nonetheless, what you’ve described is concerning. His parents endured the worst loss possible. There is no “getting over it”; simply learning to live with it and moving on with life. They sound like they haven’t moved on. Your wife needs to speak with them.
Also, it would be incredibly generous of you to allow them to continue having a relationship with your child; yet, if they are unable to recover and maintain a healthy relationship, it is natural that you would need to cut them off. But, certainly, it would be nice to work this out with them. In my experience, you can never have too many people who love your child. foffl / Reddit
When a man refused to turn over her late boyfriend’s residence to his parents, she set off a storm of controversy that has left people deeply divided.
