Sometimes the Pieces Aren’t the Problem
A woman calls her husband and says, “I’m sitting here working on a really difficult puzzle and I have absolutely no idea how to put it together or even get started.” The husband asks, “What’s it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The wife says, “Well, the picture on the box shows a rooster.”
The man promises his wife he will help her with the puzzle when he gets home. When he enters the room, he sees her bent over the table in despair. He goes to her, and she shows him the puzzle pieces she has spread out all over the table.
The man looks at the parts for a moment, then picks up the box, looks at his wife and says: “First of all: No matter how long we tinker with it, these parts will never make a rooster.”
Then he takes her hand and says, “Secondly, I want you to relax now. Make yourself a nice cup of tea and then,” he says with a sigh, “please put the cornflakes back in the box.”
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Three men stand before the gates of Heaven after their death. Peter comes to them and says: “Answer this question: Have you ever cheated on your wife? Answer honestly and you will be rewarded accordingly.”
The first man clears his throat sheepishly and admits that he had a brief affair. He apologizes to his wife and ends things quickly. “At least you were honest,” says Peter, handing him the keys to a handsome villa.
The second man begins to cry and admits that he cheated on his wife multiple times and deeply regrets it. “Well, you were a very bad husband,” says Peter, “but at least you’re showing remorse.” And he gives him the keys to a modest little house.
The third man says confidently, “Peter, I solemnly swear to you, I have never been unfaithful to my wife. I haven’t even thought of other women.” “That’s what I want to hear, my friend,” says Peter enthusiastically, and gives him the keys to a large lock.
After some time, the three meet again in heaven. When asked how he is, the castle owner begins to cry. The other two ask him anxiously, “What’s wrong? You were a faithful husband and received this luxurious castle from St. Peter. Why are you crying?”
The man wipes away his tears and says, “I met my wife yesterday.” The two are amazed and say, “But that’s wonderful! Now you can live happily together for all eternity.”
The man shakes his head and says, “She lives in a caravan.”
