You know you’ve officially reached “old” when:
Your partner whispers, “Let’s go upstairs and make love,” and you sigh, “Honey, I can’t do both.”
Friends compliment your trendy new alligator shoes, but you’re actually just barefoot.
A gorgeous woman catches your eye, and the surge flips your pacemaker into opening the garage door.
Going bra-less acts as an instant facelift by pulling all the wrinkles out of your forehead.
You don’t care where your spouse goes, as long as you aren’t invited to tag along.
The only person telling you to slow down is your doctor, not the highway patrol.
“Getting a little action” simply means you get to skip the fiber supplements today.
“Getting lucky” means successfully locating your car in the Costco parking lot.
And finally, pulling an “all-nighter” just means you didn’t have to get up to pee!
