A priest found himself seated next to a heavily intoxicated man on a crowded city bus. The drunk was clumsily unfolding a newspaper, squinting hard at the print through bleary eyes.
After a few minutes of struggling with the pages, the man turned to the priest and asked, “Excuse me, Father, but do you know what causes arthritis?”
Seizing a golden opportunity to deliver a stern moral lecture, the priest looked down his nose and replied righteously, “My son, arthritis is a direct consequence of a loose and wicked lifestyle! It comes from excessive drinking, abusing drugs, running around with promiscuous women, gambling, and constantly indulging in cheap vices.”
The drunk mumbled, “Wow, that’s crazy,” and quietly went back to reading his paper.
Feeling a sudden pang of guilt for being so harsh, the priest softened his tone and patted the man’s shoulder. “I’m sorry if I sounded judgmental, my son. How long have you been suffering from this terrible affliction?”
The drunk looked up in total surprise and replied:
“Oh, I don’t have it, Father. It says right here in the paper that the Pope does!”
