Old Ed was nearing the very end, peacefully surrounded by his loving family.
As his final moments approached, he gathered the last of his strength and whispered, “I must tell you all my greatest secret…”
His emotional relatives leaned in closer, hanging on his every breath.
“When I was young, I had it all,” Ed sighed. “Fast cars, beautiful women, and a mountain of cash. But a good friend warned me, ‘Ed, get married and start a family. Otherwise, no one will be there to give you a glass of water when you’re on your deathbed.'”
He took a weak breath and continued, “So, I took his advice. I traded the wild girls for a wife, swapped cold beers for baby formula, and sold my Ferrari to fund college savings. And now, here we are at my final hour.”
“And what did you learn, dear?” his weeping wife whispered.
Ed opened his eyes, looked around the crowded room, and groaned:
“I’m not even goddamn thirsty!”
